sprout..

sprout’s life till ever I wish

the twinkle, the beauty, the hope all there..

the soul seen through in all its bliss

water, light and air to care..

time is what that one can’t hold

dreams are many but can’t be sold,

its free, its must, its life to grow

the earth is there for a lot more

with care I swelled to face the winds

those nasty storms and scorching suns,

the light that was a pretty sunlight

now turned out a flash too bright

but always came a drop of rain

the rainbow smiled to calm the brain

silence came, words all to drain

and a vision to be a sprout again

emotions minds everything I play

experience is a story that all say,

the flashes keep that boredom away

the storms for the challenge to stay

the twinkle, the beauty, the hope all came,

what was a dream, is life again..

My wedding...

With a committment to share my life and care my beloved's, I have decided to step into a new phase of life. I will be getting married to Sachin on 27th Nov, 2010. I remember that once in Rishikesh, I asked this question to Swami Pragyapad g about how to be committed in life, and now its the time that I actually walk it.

Me and Sachin :)

Life is over interesting these days. As if a flood of emotions is crossing through the mind, as if the future is trapping my mind, while I am still firm to the ground, still quite managing the present ;) And he is so smart to pop in when the ground seems just about to shake. Yea, a few days back, when some negativity was overhwleming my mind, Sri Sri was in town ( yeah, just for me). I got a chance to have an eye contact with the magician and be a part of the unfathomable magic that was to come next. I have been in some other planet since then, as if something deep down this heart was tocuhed gently and held firmly. Btw, it was yet another drive of running after him, but this time he was in our zone ( of course just literally ). This time the running was only physical, the mind was one-focussed. I had a dream of inviting Guru g to my wedding ceremony, awwwww !!!! No words. That was just a perfect moment. I was just loooking upto him and he was nodding all the time. Even a brutttle memory of this kodak moment can cheer me up for a long long time.

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Anyhow, for all my single friends, I would love to script four advantages of getting marraige. Just for you folks !!

Knowledge: Surrender, Committment, Belongingness, Love, Devotion are no more just words, but a deeper experience. Marriage helps you to come out of self-centeredness.

Shopping: You are allowed to purchase anything and everyday. You are allowed to be too busy in this. Don't worry about budget, coz your partner loves you and the out of budget things are on him/her ;)..I hope Sachin is not reading.

Pampering: You are the king/queen for people around you. The show stopper of the show. A feel to have for sure once a life.

Feelings: You are flying in love, in air. You will not have any free time, hence, no boredom. You don't have to take decisions alone, now you have with you someone whom you trust the most and can share everything. There is a warmth, contentment & depth in life.

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...that is my self made wedding invite :)

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Loveee

Jai Gurudev

Bhanuja

Another Sojourn..

Yet another time, and still quest for more. Had a thrilling 5 days at the Bangalore ashram this June. This time of the year all kinds of emotions, feelings, sensations belch out. And this time it was even more.

Approaching the Kanakpura road, the ashram, was as inciting as it was when I visited it the first time. It still seemed as if it was the way to heaven. Those smiling faces, those judgment free minds, those ready-to-comfort you eyes are a perfect way to welcome someone to a dreamland. So full of love is everything that one instantly becomes one of them. Coming back to your nature becomes easy. I don’t understand how my heart allows me to come back from there.

I got my housing card made and quickened to the yagnshala for Guru darshan. The voice so cloying and the vibes so strong, that I realized the discourse is going in Kannada only after a few minutes, and also that I was sitting just next to B&D. Immediately after the satsang I had a close darshan of Guru g just outside the satsang arena. My day was already more than made. Met the Chandigarh Yes plus gang sooner and was lucky enough to have a much needed long kriya break in the BadriVaishala, was good enough to connect me more to that beautiful present and make it look even more fulfilling. The gang grew bigger and interesting with new people catching up every here and there in the ashram- the vivacious Ankita (ankiteshwari), the cheerful Meenaaaksi, the ever elegant Vinayshree, the cutie Shreshta, the newly weds, Amitesh bhaiya and Tanu di were all around. Slept off with a contended breathe just to wake up eagerly to the early morning chants of Rudra Abhishek with Gurudev.

Annapurna was a big dorm and I had an interesting neighborhood to my bed- a girl from Kolkota, working with Accenture in Bangalore who was flashing a broad smile throughout. She was my partner for the next day Saadhna in VM. A one and half hours long Rudra pooja seemed to last for only 5 minutes- so powerfully it took us all present there into its magnanimity. Where the day starts like that, you have nothing more left to desire from the day that remains. But a lot more was awaiting. It was Vinay’s birthday, his devotion in its full capacity and he made us stand the entire noon in front of the Ganga Kutir path to wait for Guru g’s arrival. The devotion was so loud that it was impossible for Guru g to disappoint him. Soon Sri Sri followed and gifted him a red rose, the most befitting birthday gift he could have asked for. All those hungry souls were soon invited inside the VM to attend another 1 hour journey with the almighty himself. A soothing 50 minute meditation bound us more to ourselves, making us more free birds, stretching the length of those smiles even more. Mehak joined me that evening in the ashram and in true sense was a soulful mate for the rest of the stay. We utilized our chance to be allowed to communicate that evening with a long chat session, deserving enough pre-silence ;) So fulfilling and contended can exchange of words make you feel sometimes. It is interesting to see how you always want an assurance of certain things and that is what a true mate does- at the end, I believe, both of us could discriminate better and faster.

With 900 people meditating together, you feel altogether on a different planet indeed. The next four days were into the course, into that oneness, into that love. And as Gurudev said in one of the talks, being in love is not sufficient. You want to continue it forever, for lifetime, till your last breathe. That love with everything around is what is special and binds one, yet making you feel so free…!

Some things stay a little more and so will this sojourn.

PS: Wrote this 2 months back. Just posted now.

PPS: To Vinay, Lots more to come. Stay tuned :p

PPPS: Congrats to our lovely Amitesh bhaiya and Tanu di..I got hold of a beautiful pic of them..Have a look !

Lot of love

Jai Gurudev !

Bhanu

this heart did not ever melt..

There was a corner never touched,
this heart did not ever mellt...

no clues, no blues,
no more a haze,
crazE?

broken leaves, lonely waters,
nothing but a play,
no dismay..

time crawls, beat skips, nerves freeze,
what it is,
bliss?

he came, he saw, he conquered,
only him, only him,
whim?

There was a corner never touched,
this heart did not ever melt..

Duality and the present moment

1. You are driving to office, thinking about how late you already are, how badly the boss will insult you at the right time, what if he gives you a bad grading just because of this, how wonderful the day could be if he is on leave or late just like you, how you are going to manage the time from the next morning so as not to be late in future..and hoping the next lights are not again red !! You are the next prospect Mullah Naseerudin.

2. You are overeating and simultaneously, thinking of stopping to eat as it may lead to overeating. You are sleeping at 7:00 am afer the clock alarmed you at 5:30 am and you thought, exactly at 5:32 am, that its a must to get-up for jog and no point wasting time sleeping excessively. You are speaking and speaking and speaking and simultaneously, yes, thinking of also listening a little. You are counselling a friend to ged rid of his laziness, be aware, telling him that when nothing works, silence does, telling him about the advantages of the seva, saadhna and satsang. And you act a copy of your friend, otherwise.

3. You are aware of your possibilities at any point of time. And yet, there is more than you think is your 100 percent of that moment. There is some portions of you still divided, diverted. You come to an advanced course having sudden realizations of some of those moments. You can then see that otherwise unseen ting of ego, lethargy, craving, misery and what not even in those moments.

The first point talks about the mind being in the past or future- forget about it uniting with your actions in the present moment. Duality? huh?

The second point, thoughts and actions will unite, I believe, only and only with the regular practice of 3S's, keenly and playfully.

The third point is a good symptom of you being on the path of being in the present moment. Continue.


Anyways, there is another phenominon which happens. You are tired of eating. You are bored of watching. You are tired of speaking. You are tired of craving, yet you crave. You don't want any desires coming up, yet you are full of them. You are tired of this mind, yet it doesn't stops.

From the maya of duality how do I pluck the cleaveless truth of unity :o

Can't I be me?

Just and all? Only.


Ps: Thanks to the wonderful Advanced course we had at Solan this Independance Day.
PSA: Two words have been copy pasted as it is from "Rendezvous with Rashmin"

Navratri 2009

I remember my sankalpa at last year Navratri festival in Ashram, which was to come back for next Navratri. I realized it happen only when I entered the Art of Living International Ashram for Navratri 2009 and was welcomed into the Ashram by Dinesh da himself. He said, "so you have come!!!! Take your accommodation and come back in the evening for Satsang."

Navratri was fresh and fulsome, making me boast of having experienced the larger than life stuff for the first time again. Guru g was so differently mesmerizing and yet with that resembling serenity and smile. It is the best time of the year when you get to spend so much time with him and listen to him through that silence. You understand why religion has its importance. You know that why your mom used to make your visit to the temple so compulsory. Performing rituals is perfect when done with devotion. It is a method to show devotion and also, to increase it.


Meenakshi made a perfect debut in my life. She is one of her type- my companion for Navratri Puja’s this year. She was not a VIP, but yes, self-designated (!) and I had the privilege to enjoy those benefits in her company. "The Secret" very rightly talks about the law of attraction- the kind of thoughts you entertain more, the similar starts happening to you. There was only one thing on her mind- to be as near to Guru g in person which included sitting in the front row and following his car closely. It really did not matter if we entered early or late inside the yagnashala. We were always in the front row. If early, we gave credit it to our commitment, skill and in case late, it was Guru grace and will. And when the later made a hustle bustle around, everyone was made to understand these reasons. As a result, we were partner in the “goal bliss, push rest” crime :D I am one kind of a person who would relish Guru g even from a distance. My mind didn't ever gave me a chance to think of these other possibilities. Thanks to Meenakshi, I got a direct experience. Being in the first row, watching the Puja's so closely was so ecstatic and made it a better happening.

This time, we got accommodation in Chattravas, 2-3 minutes to the Sumeru Mantap, and neighbouring to the Shakti Kutir. And unlike when in Khodays, we could now reach the Yagnshala well before time and leave as late as possible (listening to those late night Guru stories ). Not forgetting to mention the fun in Dormitory where all the 50 ladies added more to the fun and devotion. I must say, aunties are aunties. There is only one type and Ekta Kapoor rightly shows that :D We also tried hands at Dandiya, which is a very different and not so easy dance form. Also, we did some interesting Natya Yoga. It re-kindled the creativity within. I re-realized what I am missing in life. I wanted to be innocent immediately. I wanted to go back, learn classical music, guitar and also do a Sri Sri Yoga TTC. All this excitement and life in me was coz of the teacher, Ganga g's last day performance! Artists are so much more closer to life and living it so clearly with there hearts. Indeed.


The more you know, you come to know that "you do not know"
The more you know that "you do not know", the more you come to know !

PS: I was to club 3-4 posts to 1. But writing about Navratri brought my emotions out. So the rest in next posts. I will try to be emotional in them and make them big :D
PS: To the fans of my blog :D, sorry for delay

Of doubts and grace..

Little does one know of the mind’s perplexity and its awful genius, when clubbed with that playfulness ! It is when you’ve just attended the blissful Navratri Puja’s with the maestro himself and followed it up with an advanced course in quick succession; when you look astounded at any worry, pain and suffering that exists; when u have established yourself deeply in the troth that life is love, life is joy, life is enthusiasm. It is when love keeps flowing in the air.

Just until your vision begins to get blurred; just until your mind plays its usual role; just until you begin to be caught in the trap. When Lobh, Moh, Maya and other villains, which had ceased to exist, appear out of nowhere. The mind acts as a magnet to them. They have again started alluring your mind. You becoming aware, put your efforts to love it, to accept it all as it is, managing to understand how opposite values can be complementary, not resisting that it may persist. You read knowledge and it is just a read. Such is the dauntless mind that it so effortlessly makes you land in doubt. It retaliates like anything when you want to rest it down. It wants to prove its being. ‘Letting go’ is not a statement it understands in one go. It needs an egoistic satiation of being the giver of all pleasures, of being the penultimate. It boosts you to be a football of all those rogued opinions. The bunch of calmness that you were surrounded with suddenly seems to be getting lost. Life behaves a parable and you are not ready to move an inch until you solve it. The vicious circle of the mind just awaits to catch you in its ambush. Conclusions don’t come to you easy. You are confused about your aberrant ways. You do what you term as wrong; you speak what you term as ill; you lay back when it’s the time to act. What’s happening?

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And then, what counts is not just what ‘you’ made when the sun shined, but how long can ‘you’ not let this sun set. You? Nyways, not. It’s about moving from ‘abhaav’ and ‘prabhaav’ to your ‘swabhaav’.

Everything was changing, the non-changing me could suddenly start noticing. And this too was supposed to change. ‘Impermanence was the only permanent’ was now an experience.

‘Grace’ is the apt word that fits. Explanations to it will definitely curtail how it comes to you and then how it works. It is an experience. Stories, words may give you a reference, but then I’m not sure will they be giving you to the correct feel of it. Some say it’s luck, some boast it as their own will power and yet there are others who wonder: What’s happening? Yes, you wonder!

And when you take a glance back, you realize you have grown up! The Guru had arrived.

Jee apna bhola bhala hai…Ye ishq bada matwala hai…
Kya kahein ab aur aagey...Ab kaun samajhane waala hai !

Loads of Love
Jai Gurudev
Bhanu